My entire life has pretty much reinforced not to get attached to things. I guess having that mindset makes it easier when things in your life keep getting damaged or taken away. I'm a taurus and taurus's like having nice things. Even if I don't want to have a lot, I want the things I have to be nice.
My step-dad was nice enough to help me move, but I'm now down a metal shelf and my favorite piece of furniture is damaged in multiple places. As sad as it sounds, that dresser has been symbolic for me. It's the one thing that I've stuck to my guns on and did it for myself. I've always wanted white furniture. I even had my old roomate's mom tell me I don't need a dresser. I didn't have white furniture in my last house either (well until the very end). Having white furniture is something that I associated with me being able to make it on my own. Because it was my choice and something I wanted so badly.
It's been the one thing that's been home to me is using that stupid ass white dresser. I didn't get to use it for a long time, because it was something I bought at the end of my marriage. It stayed at that house for a long time, before I got a place that I could actually use it.
Sure it's only a $180 Ikea dresser, but it meant a lot to me. Even my car is falling apart.
I'm just trying so hard to not be attached to things or even people. It's not easy, but honestly it's becoming my way of life. Especially with how often I've had to move. I kind of don't have a choice.
I know this is a stupid rant. It's just like fuck, can I have anything?
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